To better connect with others; start with yourself
Being alone allows for insight into your existence.
Being with others gives you a reflection of your emotional states.
How comfortable or uncomfortable you feel in certain situations where you are alone, living without a partner, at a social gathering or just having dinner, indicates your level of ease with yourself against the backdrop of your life at that given time.
More often than not, our hectic lives force us into a “busy aloneness” where our schedules may be filled with business meetings, networking events and other people’s weddings while deep down we know we are avoiding that inner voice that can sometimes feel like an emptiness. We can have this feeling even if we are in a committed relationship or a crowded room.
While many people distract themselves from the inherent sense of emptiness they sometimes feel with things that keep them busy, emptiness is actually a beautiful and very powerful place to be.
In a space of emptiness, there is expansion and access to your true self. The true you that is beyond your job, beyond your family and beyond your ego. In a state of emptiness there is connection and there is choice. You can choose who you are and what you desire to do, while at the same time, loosening your attachment to false identities that can cause you pain.
When you are feeling too young, too old, not good enough or just lonely, allow yourself to go into that seemingly scary place of fear and just sit there for a bit until you feel the sense of the unlimited possibility open up for you. You will feel more empowered because you will discover that you can choose what fills this void.
For people who tend to feel sad when alone, you may find that, while that is your immediate reaction, there are many other options available to you and many things you can do to achieve those other feeling options.
Being alone is a great way to cultivate your connection with your inner power because gives you access to the healing place of emptiness, where you can choose to be happy as well as choose to do what makes you happy.
I’m not saying to give up on your dreams of finding a partner or to be content with feeling lonely in a relationship. Rather, I’m offering you the option build relationships that are truly meaningful and fulfilling to you–by first connecting with yourself deeply and lovingly so that you may also connect with others in this way.
Here is a wonderful video on “How to Be Alone” that lightheartedly addresses some “safe” ways of being alone and fabulous in public:
Reading suggestions: This is a great article on the concept of emptiness from the perspective of Buddhist traditions: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/lewis-richmond/emptiness-most-misunderstood-word-in-buddhism_b_2769189.html