Have you ever wondered if you are sabotaging your own success? Are you doing something wrong in the goal-setting, go-getting process?
Nearly two years ago today, I was living in my parent’s house with a failing relationship and totally disconnected from everyone, including myself. I was burnt out from doing a start-up in a foreign country and had no assets to my name.
During this time, I was getting a clear message to more fully embrace the energy healer side of me, which I had repressed in doing business ventures.
I had a clear vision of the network I wanted to be apart of–I wanted to connect with some of the most powerful healers and transformational coaches around–and I wanted this so badly.
I was desperate to belong somewhere because I had been traveling nonstop and I wanted to be with people who could help me explore this aspect of myself.
I began taking classes, going to conferences, joining all sorts of niche esoteric groups that ranged from enlightened entrepreneurs to crystal healers and mediums. I got certified in Reiki, Mystery Mastery and Ancestral Lineage work and eventually became deeply involved with a new, innovative holistic wellness center in the heart of Boston.
I was in healer mecca.
Almost daily, I was busy exploring all sorts of incredible modalities–biofeedback, soul-retrievals, crystal sound healing, hypnotherapy, divine soul healing, inner child work, EFT just to name a few.
I thought it was pretty cool–as long as I want something badly enough the universe will provide, right?
Well, yes and no.
In less than a year, the new, sparkly wellness center closed its doors. I stopped keeping in touch with many of the miraculous healer friends I had made because I found them unstable and unreliable and I was doubtful and disenfranchised with my own ability to make it as a healer after witnessing so much chaos in the field.
I had lost my mecca. I was alone again.
The paradox of intention states that you can reach a goal by giving up the attempt to reach it.
More specifically, the core energy from which you approach a goal dictates what you will attract. If the reason for you to want something is out of a negative vibration–you are likely to manifest that same energy.
On the surface, I had wanted to attract beautiful and gifted healers so that I could learn from them and mutually exchange love and support. However, deep down–the core energy from which I was acting upon–was a desire to escape from my feelings of self-doubt, insecurity, fear about my future as a coach and healer and my sense of loneliness in the world.
And guess what?
I attracted the same people into my life.
While they may have looked more professional or more established on the surface, underneath they were the same mess of feelings that I felt.
When it’s important to give up
After my period of disillusionment, my entire perspective shifted.
Instead of going outward to seek what I wanted to feel–connection, validation, support–I went inward and began to heal those aspects of myself that were still raw and disconnected.
Instead of constantly networking out of desperation to “find my people” I worked on building myself and my coaching practice.
I still wanted to have my network of powerful healers yet I gave up the search for them.
Then, something strange began to happen.
People began contacting me.
I was being invited to events where I met not only incredible healers but also healthy and balanced individuals who were also seeking people like themselves.
They wanted me in their circle.
These are healers who have healthy private practices making 6 to 7 figures doing amazing coaching and spiritual work and they are my mentors guides and friends.
When my external world became balanced and surrounded by like-minded individuals I knew it was because my internal world was already in that state.
We can only attract or create what reflects our deep internal state.
Giving up my external goal allowed me to tap into a personal power that changed everything and everyone in my life because I showed up in a more powerful way–without attachment