We are emotional and energetic beings who spend exorbitant amounts of energy suppressing unprocessed emotions.
There was a period in my adolescence when I was clinically depressed. I remember it was literally a monumental feat to move my body, not to mention actually get out of bed and go into the world. Waking up every morning felt like an unbearable weight on my conscience.
At the time, I thought I had chronic fatigue syndrome as I was exhausted every moment of the day.
I was also prone to getting sick for weeks at a time. Despite the fact that I had a pretty healthy diet and lifestyle, it seemed like I was getting the flu or a virus or brain fog every other month.
And to top it off, I had severe body image issues and felt like I carried 30lbs more than my actual weight.
Needless to say, I had confidence issues, and there were times when I didn’t even feel worthy of being alive. I felt a distinct separation between myself and other people in my life, even my close friends. It was like I was watching the world go by as an observer rather than a participant.
I thought that being healthy and happy was something for everyone else except for me and I would continuously find evidence to back up this belief.
Fast forward half a lifetime and after years of study in energy mechanics and holistic wellness and working with clients around similar issues–I’ve realized that a big reason for my detached and sickly state was due to the level of bottled trauma that I had not known how to release.
I was a very sensitive child growing up and could feel others’ emotions very keenly. Not knowing what to do with these feelings and not being able to navigate my own emotional landscape forced me to unconsciously pushed down and numbed all my feelings.
But repressed feelings don’t go away–energy never dies. In fact, energy naturally wants to flow.
So, in response to this forced, unnatural state, my system had to expend energy suppressing my repressed feelings and blocking off my innate intuitive senses–because it was “dangerous” for me to feel. In part, it was dangerous territory because I didn’t have any tools or understanding to deal with what I was harboring in my unconscious.
Traditional Chinese Medicine, an ancient 5,000+ year old form of healing, has a saying:
“stagnant water breeds disease.”
The repressed emotions and blocked energy eventually manifested as sickness and ailments in my physical body. It wasn’t until I left the US in my mid-twenties to live in Beijing, that I began to process and detox from these old dynamics.
When I began to identify and release all of the energetic blockages from my past, I naturally began to adopt healthier ways of being and this lead to a dramatic shift in my overall health.
Now, I hardly ever get sick and I feel a constant well of energy coming from my core that feels connected to the pulse of all living beings.
If you are feeling the symptoms of constant fatigue, a sense of being stuck or overall numbness (in addition to speaking with a medical professional) you may want to shine a light to your inner self and see what parts of your existence need confronting.
Fatigue may show up differently for everyone. For some, it’s a nagging heaviness throughout your day. For others, it may be a sense of feeling trapped and unfulfilled or it could simply be a void of life-force energy–a disconnect from source energy.
Numbness usually occurs after prolonged periods of “self-numbing” or avoidance. Many people who are emotional eaters are numbing themselves from their feelings through ingesting food to repress unwanted feelings.
Being numb to life means you aren’t fully able to access your feelings and you live in a constant state of disconnect from your body. The most beautiful piece of art or the most delicious meal could not move you because you have artificially blocked your nervous system from receiving love and other sensations.
As human beings, for as long as we are alive, we have an innate ability to transform, transmute and transfer energy.
This means, even though you may feel hopelessly trapped in an outdated operating system that is perhaps making you more stuck-–you have the ability to shift this state of being in an instant.
Remember, energy is neither created or destroyed.
In the human body, it flows or it gets stuck.
One way to getting unstuck is to clean out the emotional gutters.
What if your fatigue or numbness were telling you that you are repressing a lot of your emotions?
Are you over-thinking and over-analyzing situations without
checking-in to see how you feel?
For example, perhaps you think that you need to impress your colleagues by working long hours yet you feel burnt-out and unappreciated.
What do you do with those feelings?
Do you express them, or even acknowledge them? Or do you ignore them and work even harder to impress people at your job?
Emotions that we don’t express begin to clog up our energy system and eventually manifest in our bodies–potentially leading to illness and discomfort.
A good way to begin to remedy this is to journal things that bother you and bring your unconscious thoughts to the forefront. This will help you reflect and process stuck emotions and allow the energy to flow through your body, bringing more balance and release.
It’s a process, so be gentle with yourself and be kind to whatever emotion is seeking release.
If you have questions, please share in the comments below!