Our culture makes us believe that we are all self-contained entities; that we are solely responsible for our success in life and that our decisions are actually our own.
The truth is, no one is truly and individual and no one operates independently.
The truth is, each one of us carries within us a long lineage and history that shapes every bit of how we see and behave in the world.
Epigeneticists and evolutionary biologists have shown that children who were conceived in times of trauma carry the physical and mental imprints of this trauma even if they were raised by different parents in completely different environments. Infants who were raised by adopted families still showed signs of PTSD even if they had no exposure to war.
In addition to our parent’s cooking skills, we also carry our great-grandmother’s sense of victimhood and tendency of self-sacrifice as well as our grandfather’s insecurities and fear of failure. Also, if there is a history of injustice, abuse, or persecution that was experienced somewhere in our lineage–we also carry traces of that and it continues to affect us in unconscious ways today.
Often, these inherited patterns are the default way in which we see and act in the world, until our mental and emotional body begins to mature and we are able to actively cultivate our own unique sense of being.
Within all of us is a complex structure of neurological and energetic patterns that hold us fastened to patterns of thinking and behavior that are difficult to break.
If someone is a victim of abuse, chances are there is a long history of abuse in the family that could’ve been expressed in many different ways: physical abuse, sexual abuse, alcohol abuse, self-abuse, etc. One of the common threads in families with histories of abuse is an overwhelming sense of inner helplessness and craving for escape through the form of control.
Coming from this kind of family, this lineage pattern is likely to show up in a person’s life through many forms of self-sabotage be it through finding bad romantic partners to destroying one’s health or opportunities for success.
If you are reading this blog, chances are you can feel the heaviness of past family patterns in your life, and I am here to tell you there is hope to escape these cycles. Not only is there healing that can be done–if you choose to heal these lineage patterns, you can actually prevent them from being passed down to future generations.
When a child who grows up in an abusive family learns how to identify and stop her self-sabotage, she begins to develop a new sense of herself and is able to create a new operating system that can take over previous behaviors.
The key here is to first reflect on the family and societal systems we come from and begin to connect elements from these influences to our own personalities and behavior. Then, we begin to see that, if we are able to carry around such ingrained systems, we can just as easily build our own systems of belief and behavior.